In august 2005 I started an email project called 'New Taxonomies'. Every week or so I sent an email to a group, community really, of around 45 people. Most of the recipients I knew personally but some I had never met. Some arrived in the community from their interest in earlier email projects that I'd been involved with, others were more recent members.

Each email consisted simply of a title of a taxonomy that could be made. I never asked for any reply but during the 18 months or so that the idea ran I received more than 250 responses. A special thanks to all those involved.



New taxonomies   2007


towns that sound like things

quorn
pontefract (like the cakes) helen 24.8.05


locations of plants with spikey leaves

are in some new pots jonathon 25.8

if you can grow a spikey yukka outside by your front door apparantly it can serve instead of a guard dog or hissing goose, as it will spike strangers in the eye! victoria 2.9

my flat kate 14.12



hot places beginning with the letter B

bloody hell dave 5.9

well, when I read those words it reminded me of a boy at school who got a question in a biology O level asking for the two hottest places in the body and he answered :
"cock and armpits" which I still find funny after 30 years! Not much to do with the letter B, and bum and bollocks are usually cool! so I am lost for words...... victoria 6.9

hot place beginning with B maybe Burgeoning Need for
You to Lend me Your Dreamweaver Book and to give it to
Janina when she comes out. Other possibility; B is for
BE it's as hot as you can get! from Jona jonathon 11.9


books with 'love' in the title

Hello Mart, I like the new title - as I like the idea of taxonomy - must be the librarian in me.
`Love in the time of cholera' of course, that's the first one that comes to mind but if I think of any more I'll email again - my kind of problem as I'm walking around. You could do 'heart' next - I've just read a William Boyd novel with it in the title. see you before too long, love margaret 13.9

hmmmm... i dont read mushy stuff!
but films ... i can think of films,
love actually
shakespeare in love
erm.... thats a difficult one.....hmmm jenny 13.9

U r my Luv's Fruit, for example? jonathon 13.9

titles with love booked! mark 14.9

-human love by william boyd
-love in a cold climate by nancy mitford
-p.s. i love you by cecilia ahearn anya 15.9

PS, I Love You, What Colour Is Love?, Women in Love, The Olive Harvest: A Memoir of Life,
Love and Olive Oil,
George Bush, Dark Prince Of Love, Enduring Love,
From Russia with Love. sonia 18.9


ways to get cold

go to Spain for 10 days, get fried, then come back to N Wales...... dave 21.9


broken things

in the outpatients, a sign, instead of 'lost things' it says in invisible ink, ' broken things'....... victoria 18.9

my confidence kate 28.11



"hello in 21 different languages"

"smoke?" dave 28.9

refer to my booklet Colour Advice. 21 colours, 21 ways
of saying hello to yourself, and somebody else. Bye
for now Jona jonathon 29.9


songs with 'heart' in the title

often also have 'broken heart' in them too, and there was a woman who had a heart transplant from a man, and after the transplant she wanted to eat McDonalds burgers and had thoughts about young women....she found out that these were favourite things of her doner....so is our mind in what we call our heart? I guess our mind can reside in many places...x

victoria 10.10



things that get better as they get older

me janice 12.10

What, like us? x janie 12.10

rusty objects jonathon 12.10

ME !!!!
Mart - I've been off for 6 months - I've had a baby boy - Brodie - he's
ACE!!!

When are you coming to visit?

How are you - I didn't have you email at home that's why I went quiet
for 6 months...

Kathy
x kathy 12.10

martin and chese kate 28.11


girls in frocks

you're kidding, right? At the start of a new academic year? b. hell... dave 19.10

girls in frocks
Martyn I'm losing interest unless you try to sound
more interesting Jonathan jonathon 22.10

girls in frocks
wear white ankle socks! victoria 23.10

natalie kate 28.11


boys in trouble

me, basically dave 24.10

when ever loves around! kate 28.11

places where there is a danger of falling over

are good places to meditate in victoria 29.10

where ever love hides kate 28.11

excuses for being absent from work

a dose of the CBA's
(can't be arsed) dave 7.11

illness (doctor or dentist)
car trouble
family member/friend seriously ill
attending a funeral
talk to the police/ give statement
trains arent running rachel marsden 7.11

they sacked me kate 28.11

-Brigthon
-Bournemouth
-Calais anya 7.11

I'm in Kota Bahru chris 8.11

Hi Mart - I seem to only ever get one word or one line on messages from this
e-list (such as below) - is this right? If so, I am seriously missing the
point here... please explain!

Hope you're well, Ruth xx 8.11

sickness
lady days
moving house
doctors appointment
hospitalisation
death
staying in bed and having sex all day lolly 8.11

well, just the word 'excuses' makes me think of heads buried in sand victoria 9.11

I've lost my car keys, my car keys have frozen in the lock, my car has broken down in London and I have to stay here until it's fixed, I'm snowed in in Wales and will get back as soon as I can, I need to stay home and take care of my relation who's not well, I've got food poisoning, my boiler/ central heating/ electrics have broken down and I need to wait in for the engineer... sonia 13.11

Please, Martyn, accept my excuses for being absent from work carmen 13.11

things not to do at Christmas

get made redundant, get really drunk and spend too much time with distant relatives! kate 14.12

forget to buy gifts
tell children that santa doesn't exist
burn the turkey
tell your mum you are not having christmas dinner with her 12.12 rachel

don't ... get very drunk at the office Christmas party and tell everyone what you really think of them (including the boss!!), or snog someone under the mistletoe and expect the rest of the office not to know in the morning !! sonia 12.12

-ask the ones by themselves to leave
-make nicki eat brussel sprouts
-drink a bottle of whisky on christmas eve
-forget an important person
-cry
-not appreciate the time
-forget to say thank you

x anya 13.12

not seeing the in-laws under any circumstances carmen 15.12

try and sell a fucking house! lolly 13.12


good reasons to lie

when it causes less hurt than the truth kate 14.12

to not get caught
to not hurt someone
to get out of paying for things - i told the ladies at monsoon that simon had died and that was why we didn't get married, just so i could get the money back on the 5 bridesmaids dresses!
xx lolly 6.12

To save someone's feelings sonia 12.1

to protect yourself and your breed carmen 15.12



bad restaurants


the waiter sipping up his flies as e bringsyou a froty coffee! kate 28.11

where the waitress has to tell yhe chef how to cook salmon! kate 14.12

Hello! Here's a poem attached. I'm not sure how much she has to do with bad restaurants, but she's to do with eating histories - ??!

M ( lady archaeololgy poem attatched) mark 28.11

- restaurants without choices
- restaurants with too many choices
- fancy shmancy restaurants anya 28.11

Burger stands at Glastonbury and Kebab shops after a night out sonia 3.12



'hello' in 21 different languages


you have to be shitting me i have trouble speaking just the one kate 14.12

inventory of sounds at work

te sound of one door closing and anoter opening kate 28.11

- JB
- JBurr
- Scottish accents
- hum of machines
- clicking of pens
- tapping of keyboards
- ding dong of doorbell
- crashing of the printer
- JS
- Jeremy coughing
- kettle boiling

jjjsjsfjjjf anya 21.11


ways to get cold

work at acorn! kate 28.11

10 ways to take revenge

spill the beans then re-heat them! mark 14.11

Walther PPK - 9 rounds in the magazine, one up the spout... dave 14.11

forgiving and forgetting (in very extreme cases)
taking no notice - being indifferent
laughing sincerely
laughing falsely
pretending to forget
hitting with a book on the head
looking very handsome
stealing boy/girlfriend
pulling one eye or more out
the same but with teeth carmen 14.11

would be 10 steps into quicksand victoria 18.11

sleeping with their friends/family/children
cutting up their important post
putting an obituary in the local paper
sending photos of them naked to friends/family/work./children
cutting armpits and crotches out of clothes
getting married before them
chop up mackeral and put it in their air bricks in their house
tell all their frinds that they had a really small willy and couldn't get it up at the best of times
subscribe them to gay magazines, delivered to their parents house. lolly 26.11

i do not like to 'do' revenge. Or perhaps I do it, subconciously with W.U.J. Although it isnt revenge, more a lack of interest, but I know it upsets him; so maybe he sees me as punishing him for past mistakes, but it's not that. He just doesn't fit. Not right now. He might have done, but 20 years ago.

People I have revenge-fuelled thoughts about:

T.W: I want to make squirm. Well I don't really, I just want some acknowledgement.
D.S: I wanted to hurt back.

And surely people only act on revenge-feelings because they want that person to notice them, they only want a bit of attention. So rather than revenge, it's more a 'look at me - that hurt' or 'i need you to know that I am angry with you'; 'i need you to acknowledge your actions'. But revenge is an ugly word and suggest bad thoughts, which makes a person stale and bitter. Which are not admiral qualities. Obviously.

I haven't really thought about it before, but I guess revenge is something you can only do to another person. I don't believe in spite...nor in regret. I find regret dibilitating. W.U.J regrets the majority of his life. That must be unbearable. Unhealthy. Revenge is also unhealthy.

Revenge. I think if something happens which makes you think revenge type thoughts, then you suffer from revenge rather than choose it. And it's funny, I was robbed at knife-point, in my bedroom, in my home, but I have no revenge-thoughts about that man. Maybe that's because he was caught, but somehow I feel sorry for him. I have revenge thoughts about people who know me, and still hurt me. I suppose that makes sense.The knife man was simply a desperate man, whereas being hurt by someone you care about is harder to forgive.

It's such a relief when you are finally able to forgive.

So I don't really have a point, apart from I hope not to suffer from it again, because every time it happens, it destroys me a little more.

(I don't act on it, I don't like to think about it, but everyone does). anya 1.12

10 dreams

- Henry put me outside the Royal Albert Hall because I didnt understand that the show had ended, Sunday 18th December 2005
- 'Who on earth is Michael Winner anyway?', Saturday 17th December 2005
- The spider under the poster in my room, September 1996
- seeing Thomas again, September 2005 between 13th - 19th.
- Finishing with Tom, August 25th 2005
- Meeting Pete again in a pub in Diss, 2000
- Thomas' dream about Tommy Rocket, January 2005
- The death of Erica's mother, 12th December
- 'When Dziadzio [Grandpa] spoke to me', January 2004
- Halucinating dream about 'Rummikub' when I was ill, October 28th 2003 anya 19.12

are made of this dave 19.12


bad new year resolutions

loose weight
stop drinking
exercise more
go to church
eat healthy helen stevenson 9.1

-try
-try
-try

why not DO? anya 10.1

giving up smoking - as traditionl as turkey dave 10.1

giving up smoking
not falling in love ever again! lolly 20.1

to diet, to save money, to have more early nights, ... life's just too short for this sort of thing! sonia 2.2




acts of passion

affairs kate 16.1

Act III: when Romeo ate Julia. mark 16.1

ripping up the ex's post
having sex with my new lover. lolly 20.1


10 reasons to go to Spain and one reason not to

1. Its warmer 1. friends aren't there
2. The people are friendly
3. The scenary is gorgeous
4. sangeria is sold by the bucket load!!
5. you get to sleep in the afternoon
6. More relaxed environment
7. it doesnt rain as often
8. Its like being on holiday
9. Its sunny
10. Relaxing way of life helen 22.1

-oranges

-seafood

-people, easy happiness

-dancing, getting lost

-laughter

-Basque, Catalan, Diversity of culture

-mountains, cities; Guggenheim

-canyons, rivers, sea

-Santiago de la Compostela

-pilgrimage

.....................................no comprehendo 'soy vegetarieno' anya 23.1


weather
sex
food
practicing spanish
sea
sand
sangria
basque people
thrid largest cathederal in the world
paella

fear of flying lolly 26.1

Ten reasons to go to Spain:
1) the food
2) beaches
3) people
4) sunshine
5) architecture
6) shopping
7) wine
8) relaxation
9) exploring new places
10) experiencing different cultures

One reason not to go to Spain:
1) the toilets sonia 2.2


crap bands

just got to be split beaver dave 6.2

bullet for my valantine
for two reasons, the first...i have to watch a bunch
of pissed and stoned boys mosh to them so that i can
spend my one nite off with my lover. the second...
they sound like a dead zombie cat been strangled very
loudly!!!! kate 7.2

bracelets made of turd!
wedding rings of shit! mark 12.2

A crap band for every letter of the Alphabet (nearly)....
ABBA,
Blue,
Carpinters,
Daniel Bedinfield,
Eminem,
Fleetwood Mac,
Good Charlotte,
Hanson,
Il Divo,
JLO,
Killers,
Liberty X,
Maroon 5,
N'Sync,
O-Town,
Papa Roach,
Queens of the stone age,
Rammstein,
Slade,
TATU,
Usher,
Vanilla Ice
Wings,
X-Ray Specs,
ZZ Top. christine 12.2

5 lovely things to do with your eyes closed

-smile

-touch

-wonder

-listen

-taste anya 13.2

1. make wishes that faries really exist
2. count sheep when you cant sleep
3. pretend your snogging someone famous when your
really snogging mr average jo bloggs
4. pretend no-one can see you
5. remember the face of the people you miss from your
past kate 13.2

listen to silence,
sleep,
spin around lots of times on the spot,
kiss,
draw christine 13.2

sleep, daydream, fantasize, kiss, swim caroline 19.2

kiss, dance, sing, wash your hair, taste good food sonia 14.3

5 ways to get lost

misdirection
misreading
misunderstanding
missed turning
missed sign helen 20.2

One Good way to get back from Berlin ian 20.2

1. attempting the tube without a map coz u don't want to look like a tourist
2. getting your left and right confused
3. get very very drunk in an unfamiliar city
4. attempt new imaginative routes to avoid traffic
5. ask for directions from people driving white vans christine 20.2

5 ways to get lost

(And to facilitate loss!!!)

1. CONGA
(Just imagine - A hideous conga-related accident, possibly when intoxicated
You get so into the disco conga-line moves that you keep on conga-ing for hours until you are in the outer perimeters of NOWHERE)
2. Run around in a small circle REALLY REALLY fast and see where you end up

3. Every time you see a cat change direction
4. Rope as many people as possible into a mass road-sign stealing (with the intention of removing every road sign in the United Kingdom). Claim it is a tribute to the World War Two war effort – See what happens

5. Stand at a bus stop and ask the person next to you where they are going. Get on the bus and go where they are going. At the new destination repeat the process. Continue in the same vein until you either a) get hungry or b) run out of money.

Off the point and ever so slightly warped, but what can you do!!
Still up for another pub night? jess 20.2

walk around with your eyes closed,
go driving with a man navigating
for get to write down the directions
forget to take the map
when someone tells you to 'get lost' lolly 20.3


ficticious animals

Jabawockey
mermaid
unicorn
forn
pegasus
werewolf
the loch ness monster
bigfoot
king kong
godzilla christine 26.2

unicorn
the dodo ( i know, i know, but have you ever bloody seen one!)
pagasus (don't think that's the spelling!)
mr tumnus from lion, witch bla bla bla..... is he a fawn?
half man half horse thingy.....
haggis - was always told as a child that it was a wild animal that lived in the scottish hills, liars
all the bloody ones is harry friggin pot head. lolly 20.3


flowers that sound like dinosaurs

- gerbera - large herbivores, with camoflage markings. About the size of a race-horse. they are large, ungainly, slow creatures. They have big flat molars and pretty useless K9 teeth as they don't need to rip meat. They tend to be found wandering slowly in packs.

- Bladder-senna - a flying small omnivore. the size of a pet cat, only with a large head. a large mouth with large pointed teeth and an overly large head. usually this species have a life long partner and stick to their couples. Once mated they rarely look after their offspring for longer than a few weeks.

- Coltsfoot - a nimble carnivore which scavenges for dead animals or 'leftovers'. These little guys run on their hind-legs only, and are very good at jumping. they tend to rush about together in gangs of up to 15. boisterous and think they're bigger than they are. anya 9.3

wrong things

- cheating
- lying
- not agreeing to the KYOTO agreement anya 14.3

annoying neighbours
annoying colleagues
screaming children janice 13.3

sending a red rose to your partners work place...when he works in an iron welding manly factory kate 13.7

5 things that mean 'i love you'

stay by your bed in hospital for 22 hours
learn about something thats important to you
feel angry or upset on your behalf
face your family despite their disapproval
squeeze you spots christine 19.3

1) waking someone up from the sofa when they fall asleep, so that they don't end up staying there all night
2) making someone food
3) going shopping all day and not complaining!
4) making somone a tape / CD
5) giving someone a big hug sonia 6.5

keeping a promise of fresh flowers
just keeping any promise
understanding when to be close and when to give someone space
poetry
letting you woman have a nigt of passion with a random stranger of her choice! yippe! kate 13.7



things that you want and don't want at the same time

mimi eggs!

my taste buds love them, but my thigh and bum doesn't! kate 30.3


another child
XX janice 3.4


yanny says can you clean the house instead of sending bloody silly emails? ian 30.3

- sleep...when you are so tired but don't want the moments/day to end
- Corn on the cob...because it tastes so good and crunches so happily, but you end up with all the bits in your teeth
- to live in Poland again...but it is not convenient and doesn't 'fit into' current life situation/position anya 30.3

someone to tell me that they love me
a boyfriend- blughhh lolly 5.4

a tan
alot of alcohol
alot of money
to stay in bed all of today
a nestle chocolate bar

p.s- I GOT INTO GOLDSMITHS!!!!!!!!

love Christine christine 10.4

days off sick sonia 6.5

nice smells

- ex lovers
- mmmm....fresh bread
- summer evenings. anya 25.4

home baked pies
freshly cut grass
babies
heavy rain fall
faranhite aftershave
fresh herbs (especially basil)
clean washing
sex
india
....................home kate 25.4

bread
lillies
clean snow
gravy
petrol
watermelon and cucumber moisturise
coconut
a hot day after its rained
candyfloss christine 25.4

cakes louisa 26.4

Chocolate, coffee, Irish stew that has been cooking for a couple of hours, matches, creosote, clothes that have just been brought in from the washing line and smell of fresh air. sonia 6.5


names of childhood things

whispers glistening in a corner mark 1.5

- care bears
- tomato rice soup
- wendy house anya 2.5

Spinning tops, fizz whiz, Wham bars, frogger, leap-frog, hula hoops, snakes & ladders, space invaders, pacers, mojos, sherbet dips, lego, swings, drinking snow-balls at Christmas time! sonia 6.5

I forgot to mention fuzzy felts, play dough & Weebles !! sonia 6.5

barney kate 13.7


5 ways to lose money

- mental block
- substance abuse
- early years
- unwillingness to remember
- bumps to the head anya 8.5

Prostitutes
Property
Alcohol
Betting
Having you eyes poked out, and no-one telling you where your wallet is! lolly 8.5

bet
stock market
tax
NI
tax janice 8.5

buy a really nice sandwich from marks and spencers everytime you are in town
give a pound to every homeless person you see
set foot inside Oxford Street Topshop
travel by train
gamble christine 8.5

women
gambling
loose pockets
being shipwrecked
art jonty 8.5

1. do a textiles degree
2. try and get a job whilst living in city center flat
3. become a waitress but live like your a graphic designer
4. move north to live in a so called cheaper flat!!!!
5. buy two new sofas when you only need one
.... i could go on!!!!!!!!!! kate 8.5


5 songs that sound the same

anything by....
the streets
katie mellua
travis
norah jones lolly 16.5

- there's that one song which sounds like jingle bells but isnt; it may be a Cerys Matthews one from her album 'Cockahoop'.
- there is a Ben Christophers song from the album 'Spoonface' which sounds like Happy Birthday
- most of eminem's noise
- 'Catch the Wind' by Donovan [is very beautiful] and it sounds kind of familiar
- 'Ghostship in a storm' by Jim O'Rourke. I just think everyone would like this song, which is why I mention it.

Anya anya 17.5


cover versions of "I'd like to teach the world to sing"

or - any Status Quo record you care to name dave 17.5

all of jack johnsons! (although i still like them)
and any of bob dylans...to the untrained ear! kate 13.7


3 books that mention 'heart of darkness'

The Poison Wood Bible is one!

A book by Conrad is another, forget what's it's called, but Conrad certainly
mentions it!!

An apocraphal Gospel called Apocolypse Now & Then refers to it also by way
of letter shifting:: 'And hark the dart is in flight to embed sense soon'.
A more ecomnomic and sharp translation is thus: 'Hark the dart of sense!'

Dr Krama Woodgin, specialist in non-sense mark 22.5

lord of the rings
romance in the stone?
and definitely my autobiography kate 13.7


happy words

sunshine, holidays, love, laughter, friends sonia 29.5

hoomaharma
sludge
moofy
hoo-ha
la-la
slinky
freebie lolly 2.6

now this is a hard one....umm
here you go kate have a first kiss and a lustful touch every day.
now i think that they would be happy words kate 13.7


methods of escape

now theres an idea......... janice 6.5

snogging a guy from army, telling the boyfriend and narrowly escaping a wedding! lolly 8.6


things that never change

-never having money
-never finding the right guy
-eastenders caroline 15.6

The English Alphabet

(Have I got the right idea about your New Taxonomies? i've been thinking about it for days!) becky 16.6

argumentative kate
and fucking annoying dru!!!!!! kate 18.6

things that you thought you wanted but when you got them you realised the mistake

A fiance
Pregnant (don't worry not going to hear the sound of tiny feet!) lolly 23.6

A big greasy Chinese takeaway and glass of coke after a long day at work. Once consumed i realised the mistake! becky 25.6

maybe will, maybe long term relationships kate 13.7



5 types of love

- fast
- short
- sudden
- longterm
- short term anya 3.7

unconditional
unrequieted
passionate
destructive
true christine 8.7

The love you have for your mum can be very different from the love you have for your dad. The love you have for your boyfriend/girlfriend is very different from the love you have for your mum and dad (unless you suffer from an oedipus complex)

comfortable love - e.g. elderly couples relationships are sometimes less physical. Can you be that happy woth someone that physical connections no longer matter?

illusional love - where a physical connection is so huge emotional connections come second. (or is that lust?)

(sorry I am afraid my answers are all abit theoretical. I couln't think 5 different types without comparing them to other types) hope you're ok and enjoying you're summer. becky 8.7

the love of lust
the love of chocolate fondoo sets
the love of fondoo in general!
the love of the smell of fresh rain
the love of a first kiss kate 13.7

undying
unrequited
forever
bum
fast lolly 27.7

Mrs Palm and her five daughters dave 4.8


things that break too easily

- people
- wax figurines
- thoughts anya 12.7

computers
sunglasses
rides at alton towers
over sharpened pencils
cheap glasses from asdsa
expensive crystal glasses christine 12.7

my expectations of a perfect relationship kate 13.7

Our skin. In our rapport/touch with the matter we are able of a strength
that our flesh cannot endure. We need tools and care. carmen 13.7

Breakfast Cereal at the bottom of the packet.

Hope you have a luvlie holiday! becky 16.7


songs with girls names in the title

- Emily - by Tom Wilman
- Suzy - by Ben Harper
- Mandy - by Barry Manilow anya 17..7

"Wendy" - The Beach Boys
"Valerie" - The Monkees
"Julia" - The Beatles
"Elenor Rigby" - The Beatles
“Lucy in the sky with diamonds” - The Beatles
"Lady Jane" - The Rolling Stones
"Ruby Tuesday" - The Rolling Stones
"Angie" - The rolling Stones
"Janie's Got A Gun" – Aerosmith
"Mustang Sally" - Wilson Pickett
Layla -- Eric Clapton
"Bette Davis Eyes" - Kim Carnes
"Come on Eileen" Dexy Midnight Runners
"Living next door to alice" – smokie
"Valerie "– Zutons
Maria - Blonde

these are all the ones i could think of off the top of my head... becky 24.7

oh laura - jimmy nail
tell laura i love her
laura - scissor sisters
lady madonna!
cecilia
dirty diana- michael jackson
come on eileen
mandy
maggie may
roxanne
billie jean
maria maria
lucy in the sky with diamonds lolly 27.7


ways home

- slow
- south
- across the big smoke anya 31.8

The short cut
The scenic route
On the last bus
In a lisenced taxi
The next morning, in the clothes you were wearing the night before. christine 2.9

Train tracks (well they will be in a couple of weeks) becky 4.9
taxi
walking
crawling
camel
dragging ones self with ones tongue
car
bus
getting the dodgy bird from last night to give you a lift
police car
funny farm ambulance
pogo stick
skate board
roller skates
in a hearse lolly 10.9

if you weigh out will it weigh more or less than in? mark 12.9

ways out

turn and run, don't stop to ask questions, don't stop to worry about feelings...but make sure you grab hold of a good friend as you go...where are you? kate 12.9

- being too tired
- backwards
- the exit anya 12.9

the front door
the back door
the window
the skylight
Tom Dick and Harry
suicide christine 14.9


5 ways to say sorry

- calmly
- quietly
- loudly
- late
- begrudgingly anya 18.9

sorry mummy
mummy Im sorry
I WANT TO SAY SORRY MUMMY
sorry
no janice 18.9

buy something
do something
say something
give something
hold something rob 18.9

parachuting of a cliff as you shout 'i'm sorry' at the top of your voice

creating a short ballet, where you are the lead character dress in pink, that expresses the true meaning of forgivness

chasing (by foot) your afended person as they drive to worh every morning, with signs of apoligies until they forgive and give you a lift

shit running out of ingienius and foolproof ideas

...im sorry? kate 18.9


strategies to deal with loss

get pissed
get pissed
get even more pissed
get realy pissed
go pick a fight
get totally pissed

ad nausem dave 3.10

Sublimination becky 8.10
anger
blame
replacement
displacement
grieving christine 9.10

lucky numbers

mucky members rob 10.10

- eighteen
- five
- one thousand, eight hundred and sixty six anya 10.10

7 and 8 christine 12.10

27 becky 15.10
4, 14, 26 lolly 25.10

5 ways to stop your mobile working

- lose it
- drop it
- drown it
- smash it
- bury it alive


(it's lovely losing your mobile) anya 17.10

smash it, drop it, throw it, drown it, set fire to it. ali drane 17.10

drop it in a pint
take it on the logflume
throw it against the wall in a fit of rage
sit on it when it's flipped open
turn it off. forever. christine 19.10

drop it down the toilet
lose it
take the sim out
give it to an old person! lolly 25.10

favourite films

gawd, you're starting early...
Blade Runner,
Life of Brian
The Searchers
Once upon a time in the West
Matter of Life and death..
:+) dave 23.10

pulp fiction, the railway children, clockwork orange, mean girls, romeo and juliet (baz lurman), christine 23.10

- the station agent
- the life aquatic
- the royal tenenbaums
- as good as it gets
- Napoleon Dynamite
- Rushmore

Over. anya 23.10


countries

america, spain, france, germany, italy, ireland, uk, australia, india, japan, helen 30.10

- Poland
- Wales
- Scotland
- France anya 6.11


things you will never throw away

- my great grandmothers amber necklace
- some lovely words from friends stored in my head safely
- shoes - this is an affliction.



(how about you?) anya 6.11



shadows dave 6.11

2 Ben Sherman shirts that I wore to help Chelsea win the FA Cup in 1970. ray 7.11

my leather jacket thats too small
books
my childhood soft toy (lammy)
photographs christine 8.11

Determination becky 10.11

things you will never forget

- January 16th 2002
- November 8th 2006
- the first email from JANM

(do you have dates too?) anya 13.11


- the smell of my grandfather
- my fathers cowardice
- my first kiss with james
- my first real holiday with my 3 best friends
- kindness from all sorts of people liz 13.11


you kate 13.11

1. Mark's poetry reading; tonight at 7.30
2. To phone a babysitter
3. Liverpool winning the European cup in Istanbul, May 25th 2005. rob 14.11


rules to break

never go back rob 20.11

- not walking on the grass
- walking on the left
- moonwalking in the office. anya 21.11

'don't mix your drinks'
'no crowd surfing'
'no using the library internet for personal use' (am breaking right now) christine 22.11



good things to do on your own

- singing
- cinema
- sewing anya 27.11

christmas shop
sleep in a single bed
sleep diagonally in a double bed
dance around to very loud music while getting ready
read on long train journeys
make important decisions christine 27.11

masturbate margaret 1.12

places to stay

places to stay where Stacie plays mark 11.12

- Ulica Slowackiego 15 m. 8, Krakow
- 13A Oakley Road, London
- Sandon House, Sandon anya 12.12

hotels
motels
b & bs
tents
caravans
a friends sofa
in the spare room
a hostel
the YMCA christine 12.12



places to go


the mothership is calling for christmas lolly 18.12

home please anya 18.12

st ives becky 24.12


things to avoid

, Perverts

, the cold
,
Caffine caroline 20.12


new year resolutions


are all a load of bollocks lolly 4.1

drink less
don't smoke- even when drunk
work really hard
get up before 11 every day christine 12.1



3 wishes

happiness for my family
an easy life for erica
harmony anya 8.1

Macbeth.

ohhh - 3 *wishes....* dave 9.1

to have more hours in the day, or the ability to function with less sleep
not to have to worry about money (ideal situation, -to have it, not to lose my memory!)
for mark to come home for one night lolly 10.1


I wish I had remembered to separate my pack of four chicken breasts before I froze them, I can't separate them and I can't possibly eat four chicken breasts for dinner!
I wish there was a park in this city.
I wish that I could adjust to change quicker than I seem to! becky 11.1

things that cut

things i say when im in a bad mood or hurt kate 15.1

- lasers
- sarcasm
- a hairdresser
- glaciers
- lava
- catamaran anya 15.1

knives
scissors
razors
glass
words
looks christine 22.1



5 different types of pleasure

simple
absoulute
divine
painfull
guilty christine 22.1

- guilty
- simple
- lots
- too much
- edible anya 26.1

oh i know lots more than 5...but i cant tell you them because they are too rude....go on then.....

yes...yes...yes...yes...yyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kate 31.1



things that can't be folded

- teeth
- nasal hair
- prawns 29.1


A paper you already folded eight times. carmen 29.1

time....and really fat people kate 4.2



people who are strong

- hercules
- marysia anna szarska
- e.f.a.j anya 5.2

my parents - for always doing the right thing sonia 12.2


5 ways to save the planet

- consume less
- don't reproduce
- reuse and recycle
- share
- cycle anya 12.2

waste less resources, recycle, car share, join WWF, plant more trees. sonia 11.2

push it out of the way of the oncoming asteroid
give it mouth to mouth
shout 'clear!' and apply the electrodes
hang it upside down and smack its arse
tell it that things aren't that bad, really dave 13.2

Turn down your thurmostat
Put a brick in your cistern
Share lifts
Recycle
Join Amnesty International christine 14.2


5 responsibilities

- family
- friends
- environmental
- moral
- ethical anya 19.2


things that you shouldn't tell your children

that they are ugly/ naughty/bad
that santa is real

hope you are wellXXX janice 28.2

things they never taught me at art school

things we didn't know this time last year lauren 1.3

- that spaghetti grows on trees
- that pigeons are horrible
- that they shouldn't take it too seriously. anya 1.3



when in a bar, things you shouldn't ask for

a pint
a beer towel
the location of the toliets
change for the pool table
change for the fag machine
change for the jukebox
an explaination as to why the jukebox isnt working christine 5.3


5 ways to make yourself laugh

Tell yourself a joke
Tickle yourself
Notice that you are talking to yourself in public
Lose at strip poker
Throw a ball as hard as you can with your wrong hand rob 11.3

riromancy dave 12.3


- tickling
- thinking
- dancing
- body popping
- singing


(greetings from Boston) anya 11.3


5 things to do before you die

lie down
stop breathing
heart stop
eyes close
mutter "was that it?" dave 20.3


astonishing things

Hi Mart
The astonishing thing is that I'm coming to see you in Cutar on my own this Sunday - 1 April 2007.
Al alan 27.3

- people
- bodies
- computers
- science
- love anya 28.3

Children
Old people
Countryside
Complete Silence
Everyday life
attics
jumble sales christine 28.3



5 ways to say 'It's over'

by snogging someone else, confessing, then getting them to dump you?
on a post it note
by a text message
with flowers?
in french. c'est fin lolly 29.3

I think that Paul Simon covered this rather comprehensively with
'50 ways to leave your lover' - back in 74, when we were faffing about
in that place in the Lake District...... :+) dave 29.3

thats mean....you know i'm a wimp..or you could send me all the response and i could get some ideas!!!

kxxx kate 29.3

- no
- hooray!
- I'm sorry
- fantastic!
- please go anya 29.3

everyone with a partner take one step forward
. . . where the f**k are you going? ray 2.4